


Memories

by BlackKite7



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Kisses, M/M, Memories, Pining, kinda silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKite7/pseuds/BlackKite7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi would thoughtlessly hook his arm over Sugawara’s shoulders, and say his name in a drawn-out way before teasing him and calling him careless or too kind of a person. It was Daichi who was the careless one, saying such things with that mellifluous voice of his, right by his ear, when he had no means to cope with it or escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

Sugawara sat idle on the bench just outside the school’s gymnasium. Practice had ended early due to the net breaking after an unfortunate incident with Hinata jumping a little too forward in an attempt to spike one of Kageyama’s tosses. At first he had immediately panicked, fearing his underclassmen had been injured, but he and the others couldn’t help but laugh at the way Hinata whined about having missed the toss.

Daichi had decided it was probably a good chance for them to relax a little for once. In the lead up to the Inter-High, they had been training at an intense pace. They both worried they might break their own momentum, but they were aware of how necessary a period of recovery was. The breaking of the net only gave them an extra reason to call it off for the day. As his underclassmen walked by, he waved to them as they went home in small groups and urged them to take care. Daichi wasn’t among them. He was likely still inside, sorting out the business with the net with Coach Ukai. The two of them usually walked home together, so he opted to wait, taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of the sun’s warmth seeping into his skin. The smile on his lips faded somewhat as the clouds began to roll in and cover the sky and the sun. He looked up at the grey forms floating in the air, rimmed with a glowing gold from the sun beaming down behind. For some reason…it gave him an unwelcome reminder.

This was it; his last chance to play volleyball as a student of Karasuno High School; his last chance to go past the Inter-High, to go to nationals; his last chance with his team…with Daichi.

That alone brought up a range of conflicted emotions he couldn’t sort through with ease.

Sugawara had known Daichi ever since they were first years. He couldn’t exactly remember how they had met. It annoyed him sometimes, unable to remember something he considered so significant. He knew it had been at school, during the first week he was in attendance. He was certain he had met him through the volleyball club. Even so…he didn’t know how, but they just seemed to gravitate towards one another over a short period of time. Sugawara didn’t realise until later that same year just how easily Daichi had entered his life.

The smile returned to his face as Sugawara remembered the fondness they shared back then, which remained in even greater strength today. They had spent a lot of time together in the past few years. The memories were countless. They practiced volleyball more than anything. He wasn’t as confident a setter as he was now, but Daichi had always been there to encourage him. He admired Daichi’s immense love of volleyball, and the way he put his whole body, heart and soul into simple practice matches. Over time, that admiration became something much more, and he hadn’t realised it quick enough to act upon it at the time.

He remembered those little changes so vividly. The first had been almost unbearably comical. It was a Monday morning, start of a new week and Daichi had been looking nervous all morning, sitting rigid in his seat and staring at a spot on his desk, as if afraid to be called upon. Sugawara remembered the way his shoulder’s jolted and his desk slid forward a little when the teacher did in fact call on him, although in ignorance of his not-paying-attention. He was concerned at the time, worried his friend was ill. The school year was almost ending, and with winter already in full swing, he had a fear that Daichi may be ill with a fever of sorts. Especially given how sweat rolled down the side of his temple. Shortly after he opened his mouth to read the passage assigned to him, Sugawara realised the issue.

Daichi’s voice was breaking, and in a painfully obvious way. At first, it didn’t seem as if it was any different. But as he began to speak the next line, his voice dropped to a much lower note than anyone would’ve thought possible for him, and he stopped talking immediately to latch one of his hands at the base of his throat as the class erupted in snickers. A faint blush covered his cheeks and Sugawara lowered his face into his book, trying his hardest not to laugh. Afterwards during the recess break, while he and Daichi were walking to the canteen, Daichi repeatedly told him to stop smirking and snicking at him – which only became worse as his voice cracked continuously as he spoke, eventually leading him to be silent with embarrassment.

For the rest of the year, and part of the beginning of the next, Daichi relied on Sugawara to speak for him when there were large groups of people. He wasn’t a shy person, but for whatever reason, he was embarrassed by the way his voice failed to maintain a regular pitch. It wasn’t until the end of spring when his voice became more solid, more deep, more confident. At that point, Daichi had also been taken under the wing of the previous volleyball captain, who was hell bent that Daichi take his place. It was undeniable that Daichi possessed all the qualities of a leader; caring but stern – a tough but fair kind of person, who was well respected even by the third years.

Sugawara remembered the first time he’d even been caught off guard by the slow shift in Daichi’s voice. Up until that point, he had been well accustomed to the deep tone of his voice, with moments when his voice peaked slightly higher. But there was one instance he recalled with every fibre of his being. They’d been playing a practice match against another school. He was still getting his bearings as a setter, and solidifying his technique. The scores were beginning to rack up against them, and with the opponents match-point approaching, Karasuno became alive with a burning fire for victory. As he got into position to set a well received spike, Sugawara froze at the sound of Daichi’s bellowing voice calling out his name. ‘Suga! Back here!’ The fact that Daichi was calling for a toss alone was odd – he wasn’t a horrible spiker, but he was a better receiver by far, but the position he was currently in gave him an opening. In at moment, Sugawara’s mind had become preoccupied with the sensation of a shiver rippling through his body. He hesitated for a brief second before realising situation and tossed the ball in his direction, slightly lower than he usually would have tossed it. Daichi’s spike just barely touched inside the lines, and the point was theirs. He apologised profusely for his mistake, but Daichi only grinned at him, and patted his shoulder.

‘ _It was fine! You’re tosses are getting better all the time!_ ’ He remembered Daichi saying. That encouragement gave him a brilliant smile. He didn’t know why hearing those words made him happy. At least not at the time.

But as time went on, he realised it more and more. He became so acutely aware of Daichi’s presence at his side, so much so that at times the air around him felt colder when he was alone. It was a silly, trivial thought…but it always remained, in the back of his mind, seething.

They were in separate classrooms during their second year. When it was time for the break, Sugawara still remembered jolting out of his chair a little every time he heard that melodious deep voice calling out his name from the doorway. What made it even worse was the way Daichi murmured his full name in a teasing tone, especially when they were out in the city. Daichi would thoughtlessly hook his arm over Sugawara’s shoulders, and say his name in a drawn-out way before teasing him and calling him careless or too kind of a person. It was Daichi who was the careless one, saying such things with that mellifluous voice of his, right by his ear, when he had no means to cope with it or escape. It took him some time to perfect the art of ignoring his racing heartbeat. There were times when he struggled of course; be it at the movies with him or with a group of friends and hearing Daichi whisper something in his ear, or in the library when he had to stand just that little bit closer so that his voice could be heard. It was painfully intrusive and intimate, though Sugawara refused to admit as much. How could he? How could he possibly accept such thoughts, and risk ruining the wonderful friendship he had with Daichi?

No. He wouldn’t allow it.

But…it only became harder. Especially during club practice. At first it was just his voice he had noticed. But as his eyes hesitantly wandered, he became ultimately aware of just how large his friend was. There had never been more than a few centimetres between them, but what Daichi didn’t have in height, he had in breadth. In the way his shoulders became sturdier and broader, the way his back between muscled and his chest evenly toned. Even more so, the thickness of his arms and legs. Whenever Sugawara watched the drills from his waiting position in line, he couldn’t help but noticed the way Daichi’s muscles squirmed under his skin, the subtle shift in his stance when he noticed something about the ball’s trajectory. Even the sweat that dripped down his neck to his firm collarbone. All of it was deeply ingrained in his memory.

Worse still, Sugawara had to learn how to suppress his emotions and thoughts whenever Daichi came to stay at his house, or vice versa. Whenever a thought that he deemed even slightly indecent came to mind, he immediately cast it out and refused to acknowledge it – though it only meant that the moment he was alone it came flooding back all to quickly. If there was one thing he ultimately remembered from those times, aside the stupid jokes they made as they did their homework or played games, was the way Daichi sleepily said goodnight to him from his bed. Sugawara would mumbled the words back, curled up and hiding under his blankets under the ruse he was cold, while desperately trying to get rid of the redness of his cheeks.

He had no idea that such careless words could strike his heart so.

A nostalgic smile came to his face as more memories came over him. One time, while at school after having had a rough nights sleep, he had slipped and banged the back of his head on a step. Daichi had scolded him for it viciously, but it was all in good will – he had been awfully worried for his friend in that moment. The back of his head bled a little, and after the wound had been cleaned, he was relieved there would be no need for stitches or a lingering scar afterwards – just a bad headache for a few days. Daichi had heaved a heavy sigh of relief, and without a second thought, he gently touched the top of Sugawara’s and ruffled his hair, and mumbled something about making him worry for no good reason. The feeling of those large, calloused hands sliding through his hair spent a shiver up his spine. Daichi’s hand recoiled immediately, fearing he had caused Sugawara some pain, and he promptly brushed it off as his head feeling a little sensitive after bumping it.

He felt terrible for lying to his friend like that. But the thudding of his heart against his chest reminded him why he had to.

Sugawara’s thoughts raced whenever he was left alone. At night, in his dreams, or when he just couldn’t sleep a wink, the thought of Daichi’s hands sliding up his legs and chest filled his mind. He recalled the times when Daichi murmured in his ear, remembered that tone, and used it for an utterly selfish reason. He wondered what it felt like to be touched by those calloused hands in more private areas, to feel his fingers dig into his flesh, to feel those lips on his own…the desire encroached on his mind, and he absorbed himself in it for a long as possible so that he could get through just one more day without thinking about it in front of him.

‘ _Suga…Sugawara…Kōshi…Kō…_ ’ He could practically hear Daichi’s voice ringing in his ears. He could only imagine what he might sound like when he had some feeling of desire. Maybe it was similar to the sound of his voice when he was tired after practice? Gruff and wanton? Or maybe it was similar to the sound of his voice when he spoke about something passionately? He didn’t know. He desperately wanted to know. He craved it with every fibre of his being.

What he would give to hear him say his name with just a hint of lust. Just once would be enough. Even as a joke.

It was a far-fetched thought, something trivial and selfish he wanted for himself. He had made it his first priority to hide all such feelings from not just Daichi, but everyone else. It would cause too much trouble otherwise. He had other issues to deal with as well.

Jealously was something else he had to contend with. Daichi was a handsome young man, and he had been confessed to quite a few times. Sugawara was no stranger to the situation, though he had experienced it with less frequency. Daichi hadn’t accepted anyone’s confessions, saying that he had to focus on his club activities. Sugawara was thankful to his commitment to the club. If he ever had a girlfriend…he wouldn’t know what to do. Would he be able to stand at his side and smile as he always did, saying how happy he was Daichi was experiencing love? He doubted he could. The thought alone was painful enough. 

It was worsened whenever he saw Daichi with Yui, from the girl’s volleyball club. Because they were both in line to become captains in their third year, they spent some time together during joint practices. Sugawara didn’t like the way his stomach tightened whenever he saw Daichi smile at her, or when Yui would playfully punch him or tug on his arm. He knew it was harmless. All in good will and fun.

And yet he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of his blood getting hot under his flesh, or the way his mind whispered ‘ _don’t touch Daichi like that…_ ’ so coldly.

It became overly apparent as the end of their second year approached, and the Christmas holidays began. It was only a fortnight long affair, the Christmas holidays, and most of it would be spent with his own family rather than with friends. Even so, he and Daichi somehow made time to spend together and exchange stupid gifts. Things like this…it made his heart ache. He wanted nothing more for his gift to be some kind of mumbled confession, or an abrupt kiss as he began to walk away. He could never bring himself to say such things. The thought was far-fetched and delusional to him.

“-ara. Sugawara.” The sound of that deep voice jolted Sugawara out of his reminiscing and he looked up quickly. Daichi stood in front of him, adjusting the strap of his bag and giving him a slight look of concern. “Everything okay?”

“…Yeah.” Sugawara gave him as brilliant a smile as he always did and pushed himself up, his own bag bouncing against his hip as he began to head towards the school gates with him. Daichi explained that Coach Ukai and Takeda-Sensei were arranging to buy some new nets for the club with their budget, as the nets they had were beginning to age somewhat. They had long been overdue some new equipment anyway. Sugawara listened intently, basking in the sound of his friend’s voice.

As they began to approach one of the main streets that led to their homes, Daichi stopped and pointed in another direction.

“I have an errand to run. Wanna come? We can get mapo doufu on the way back.” Daichi smirked at him and Sugawara sighed happily.

“Ah, it’ll be worth it for some mapo doufu…! Don’t be stingy this time.” Sugawara grinned even more as he turned to follow Daichi down the new route.

They chatted about nonsensical things down the near empty street, and just as Sugawara looked up at a street sign, he felt an arm hook under his elbow and he was promptly dragged into a nearby nook behind a store. Startled, Sugawara looked up at Daichi just as he felt his back thud against the cold brick wall. The pressure of Daichi’s hands on his shoulders made him looked around uneasily, stopped only by the feeling of Daichi’s lips pressing against his own.

“D-Daichi-” Sugawara tilted his head back, worried someone could come by at any moment, but he was silenced almost immediately as slightly chapped lips grazed his own and swallowed his protests.

Daichi’s kisses were never the same and yet they still made Sugawara’s knees buckle. The feeling of Daichi’s tongue licking his lips, grazing his teeth and the roof of his mouth, all of it made him shudder as he desperately gripped the sleeves of his jacket, as if afraid to fall. He sighed softly against his lips, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth. He moaned almost inaudibly against his lips when he felt Daichi’s fingers slide up his neck and become buried in his hair. He knew Daichi wouldn’t do anything brazenly perverse in public. But it certainly didn’t stop him from pulling Sugawara aside and sneaking passionate kisses like this.

Sugawara hadn’t had enough courage in the past to confess himself. It annoyed Daichi immensely. He waited and waited, his patience stretched thin over such a long time. Every time Sugawara smiled at him, a piece of his resolve was chipped away. He couldn’t stand not being able to hold him, to touch him, to kiss him and make him his. Even more so Sugawara reacted to him so well, despite how hard he tried and often succeeded to hide it. But Daichi wasn’t fooled.

He found it almost laughable that Sugawara would think he wouldn’t notice. Their friendship had only been brief, three years, but it was strong and full of such intense emotion and affection.

Everything about Sugawara drove him insane, made his heart race and his stomach churn. He became utterly impatient. He couldn’t stand the thought of another year going by with the same motions.

So he acted. Daichi acted foolishly, impulsively, on that cold December evening in the snow. He had told Sugawara to meet him at a park; a place he knew wouldn’t be populated at that time of evening, especially in the cold. Sugawara hadn’t thought anything of it. Not until they had exchanged gifts and was about to leave when Daichi grabbed the back of his jacket and yanked him back. Sugawara had slipped and stumbled back until he was slouched against a half-wall that separated the garden from the pathway. When he looked up, Daichi was on him, holding his red face in with his cold hands. The kiss had caught him entirely off guard, and he only reacted as Daichi pulled back, doubting himself after so long. The doubt vanished when Sugawara returned the kiss. Daichi leaned against him, keeping him close in his arms, touching his face and squeezing him close to his chest. Sugawara had to do his best to keep up with the kiss while ignoring the way his skin burned at his touch, and not from the cold.

That kiss, their first, ended when Sugawara leaned back ever so slightly and slipped further, causing the two of them to toppled over the edge of the half wall and into a pile of snow behind it. They yelped in surprise at the cold and cursed loudly, trying to get out and stand and shake the wet slush out of their shirts and jackets.

Sugawara apologised idiotically, and the two of them stood around awkwardly for some time after that, blushing like mad. The silence was broken only when Daichi took Sugawara’s hand in his own, and in that harmonious voice of his, whispered in Sugawara’s ear, and asked if he wanted to go warm up at his house.

Needless to say, Sugawara’s wild imagination never prepared him for the real thing. It was clumsy and awkward, but as it went on, he could only focus on the feeling of Daichi filling him up and squeezing him tightly in his arms, murmuring his name innumerable times, a voice that was broken apart no longer by high or low pitches but by soft, lustful moans of ecstasy, of a desire that consumed them both. Sugawara could only cling to him, dazed and full of embarrassment.

A playful nip on his lower lip brought Sugawara back to the reality before him once more. Daichi pulled back, just as breathless as Sugawara, with a silvery string of saliva linking their lips that snapped quickly and disappeared. Daichi tilted his head ever so slightly, and Sugawara closed his eyes as Daichi lightly kissed the mole under his left eye.

“Stop spacing out, _Suga._ ” Daichi murmured softly as he played with Sugawara’s hair, smirking at him ever so slightly.

“Can’t help it…” Sugawara replied breathlessly as he looked up at Daichi. His heart was still pounding painfully in his chest.

Had it ever really stopped since the first time he realised he was in love with him?


End file.
